does me good

I am still young

Reaching

like the grounded bird’s plumes for air

blue feather, ticking time bomb before I treat myself better

purple feather, clock counts time— units of seconds beating like

wings beating with flight, with something that is happening in her heart in my heart

I think of them sometimes

we are younger searching for a dream career

I have neglected you

you are clever, have quick hands a quick mind, dreams, and yet I neglect you

here I am

at this very moment

looking behind me on the road I’ve walked

looking ahead to the process that’s not as stressful as you may think but more difficult

I drink my virgin Caesar and feel at ease with my peers

scientists who for so long I wanted to be around be like

and now here I am talking about my heroes

and I am training to fill their job spots their spaces of knowledge they’ve given

I feel like being free today this month

and sitting out in the sun

my friend finds the change of season difficult and tiring

I find it energizing I cannot wait for coffees out on the patio

and yet I cannot wake up in the morning and feel like I’m just waking up in the middle of the night

when it is the day begun.